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FROM RAMON BAUTISTA'S TUMBLR/ FORMSPRING!
What is it now?!!
ramonbautista:
Secret asks:
Hi Ramon! What if I had a thing with a girl who made me panakip butas (but i didnt know) and then got back with her ‘girl’ before me? Do I suck for believing her lies or does she suck more?
I know it feels bad but being a meantime guy/girl is a choice. Even if you are overwhelmed by kiligs, im pretty sure you have felt this coming from the start and perhaps just sent a prayer that she will stick with you. I think you should stop thinking about who sucks and who sucks more but concentrate about moving on.
And maybe taking revenge.
Chorva asks:
Ramon,
Isa akong NBSB at dahil maloloka na yata talaga ako, feeling ko naiinlove nako sa kaibigan kong bading pero hindi talaga sya bading kasi feeling nya lang yun. Yun. Hindi sya tanong, manghihingi lang naman ako ng comment.
The feeling of inlove-ness is wonderful and everybody deserves that every once in a while. In your case, you probably just like him just because he’s the only person who makes you pansin. Its his right to declare himself as a gay guy and anybody else’s to their gender of choice. You should go out more and meet some FBSB: first boyfriend since birth material, which hopefully, is a straight man. DO NOT to tag your gay friend along going boy hunting because guys might think he’s your boyfriend. And remember, he is now a competitor.
GUYS TUNE IN TO 92.3 EVERY M-TH, 7-10PM ! :) Wasak mehn. Hahahahha.
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"A man who has depths in his shame meets his destiny and his delicate decisions upon paths which few ever reach, and with regard to the existence of which his nearest and most intimate friends may be ignorant; his mortal danger conceals itself from their eyes and equally so his regained security. Such a hidden nature, which instintively employs speech for silence and concealment, and is inexhaustible is evasion of communication, desires and insists that a mask of himself shall occupy his place in the hearts and heads of his friends; and supposing he does nto desire it, his eyes will some day be opened to the fact that there is nevertheless a mask of him there-and that it is well to be so."
Friedrich Nietzsche
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Hi LJ,
I am still alive! What has been up since the last time I've updated? Well, school has been the same. Some parts have been lame-o. Some parts have been exciting too. This sem looks really challenging just because the schedule is so tiring. Plus, some parts are just out of my comfort zone which is supposedly good too but of course....uncomfortable (duh). I am forced to be creative and I can't even pace myself. Lalalala.
What else.
I went to this retreat,that I never thought I would ever go to again. I realized that I was supposed to be there. Willingness is the key - love, forgiveness, hope, faith.
I was thinking about 2009, how I said that it would be a breakthrough year. And indeed it was! God is good, so faithful! From start until the end (it's not yet over!) it proves to be full of breakthroughts...so amazing :) From rebuilding relationships, breakthroughs in realizations and forgiveness, doing uncharacteristic things, physical healing, spiritual healing and new friendships to so much more!
I pray that 2010 will be a year of crossing boundaries :)
'til I update again, LJ. Cheers! :P
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Vlogs
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Mar. 19th, 2008 @ 02:05 am
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Basically, just me, talking.
1. Birthday Greetings.
2. What Is This Feeling? ( Borrowed from Wicked hehe)
Yesterday was very unwelcome! But yes, it happens and I know that there's a reason for it. SIGH. |
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It was one memorable weekend, and every minute was purposeful. |
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Productive. Heh.
Mar. 13th, 2008 @ 06:14 pm
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| » Re-Reading. |
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She put it aside, and during a slow hour in the shop she read the opening chapter, called "The Age of Silence" :
The first language humans had was gestures. There was nothing primitive about this language that flowed from people's hands, nothing we say now that could not be said in the endless array of movements possible with the fine bones of the fingers and wrists. The gestures were complex and subtle, involving a delicacy of motion that has since been lost completely.
During the Age of Silence, people communicated more, not less. Basic survival demanded that the hands were almost never still, and so it was only during sleep (and sometimes not even then) that people were not saying something or other. No distinction was made betweed the gestures of language and the gstures of life. The labor of building a house, say, or preparing a meal was no less an expression than making the sign for I love you, or I feel serious. When a hand was used to shield one's face when frightened by a loud noise something was being said, and when fingers were used to pick up what someone else had dropped something was being said was being said; and even when the hands were at rest, that, too was saying something. Naturally, there were misunderstandings, There were times when a finger might have been lifted to scratch a nose, and if casual eye contact was made with one's over just then, the lover might accidentally take it to be the gesture, not at all dissimilar, for Now I realize I was wrong to love you. These mistakes were heartbreaking. And yet, because people knew how easily they could happen, because they didn't go around with the illusion that they understood perfectly the things other people said, they were used to interrupting each other to ask if they'd understood correctly. Sometimes these misunderstandings were even desirable, since they gave people a reson to say, Forgive me, I was only scratching my nose. Of course I know I've always been right to love you. Because of the frequency of these mistakes, over time the gestures for asking forgiveness evolved into the simplest form. Just to open your palm was to say: Forgive me.
Aside from one exception, almost no record exists of this first language. The exception, on which all knowledge of the subject is based, is a collection of seventy-nine fossil gestures, prints of human hands frozen in midsentence and housed in a small museum in Buenos Aires. One holds the gesture for Sometimes when the rain, another for After all these years, another for Was I wrong to love you? They were found in Morocco in 1903 by an Argentine doctor named Antonio Alberto de Biedma. He was hking in the High Atlas Mountains when he discovered the cave where the seventy-nine gestures were pressed into the shale. He studied them for years without getting any closer to understanding until one day, already suffering the fever of the dysentery that would kill him, he suddenly found himself able to decipher the meanings of the delicate motions of fists and fingers trapped in stone. Soon afterwards he was taken to a hospital in Fez, and as he lay dying his hands moved like birds forming a thousand gestures, dormant all those years.
If at large gatherings or parties, or around people with whom you feel distant, your hands sometimes hang awkwardly at the ends of your arms-you find yourself at a loss for what do with them, overcome with sadness that comes when you recognize the foreigness of your own body-it's because your hands remember a time when the division between mind and body, brain and heart, what's inside and what's outside, was so muchless. It's not that we've forgotten the language of gestures entirely. The habit of moving our hands while we speak is left over from it. Clapping, pointing, giving the thumbs-up: all artifacts of ancient gestures. Holding hands, for example, is a way to remember how it feels to say nothing together. And at night, when it's too dark to see, we find it necessary to gesture on each other's bodies to make ourselves understood.
(FROM 'THE HISTORY OF LOVE' BY NICOLE KRAUSS----PAGES 72-74)
Mar. 12th, 2008 @ 10:54 pm
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| » 2007: In Retrospect |
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It happened so faaaast! :O Indeed, we look forward to eternity for our lives are short :) 2008 NAAA. Magbibinata na ko, hehehe (aka turn 21 :P )
I can say that I'VE CHANGED. Hahaha, oh no! Buuuut. I know that I'm constantly changing, by God's grace, for the better. The kind of faith that I have now, being where I am, has changed. I'm glad that the Lord has put me here because I've been learning SO MUCH. About life, people, myself, the world, but most importantly..about HIM. Yes, I'm becoming a different person now. Everyday, I'm slowly becoming the woman that He wants me to be. I'm changing :)
What happened/ How has God blessed me in 2007:
January - I had a seizure while in CCF! Unexpected, yet blessing that it was such a safe place...the background music (last song that I remember singing) was Days of Elijah! There was a Doctor who also accompanied my family and me to the ER :)
February- Last Valentines day! I remember this time, most of my friends already knew that I was gonna leave. I was doing a countdown with Nina :) It was one of my most memorable Vdays, haha. Oh, and STABILO! Hahahahaha (YIKES), but in reality :P
March - Hmm. Apart from all the Ateneo-loving I could do (haha, pseudo-senior syndrome), I had this LJ entry that was a post-dawnwatch despedida/breakfast entry (and me trying to comfort parts of myself)
I realized something about LOOOOOOOOOVE. Listening to some songs, reading mah journal/devos and whatnot and then something happened also. HAHAHA. The song that I was listening was actually a happy song, by Van Halen yata. There was a line 'TRUE LOVE NEVER DIES' and then it hit me. Indeed, it doesnt! HAHAHA, NGE OKAY. Hahaha. Pero not just Lalalalalove ha, kahit kanino na love. YUNG SOLID LOVE. TRUE LOVE. AGAPE? Heehee. But really. And TRUE LOVE WAITS, RIGHT? :D God is soooo wonderful! Someone told me that TRUE LOVE can come early too, so if it does, then if it can WAIT, then it won't die. Nasa Bible ba yan? Siyempre! IT WILL ENDURE! LOVE ENDURES! YOOOOOOWWN!!!
Don't you just LOVE GOD? God is LOVE eh!
I wanted to cry. shout. mainly of pain. loss. BUT THEN. NOW? It's because of love. I love you. I realize now, that I have found true love. ♥
April- Departure: The part I remember the most was not answering Franci's phonecall, aww :) Reunited with family here. Reconnected with Denise! And Dino! And Dion! Met new friends! Met Sharl :)
May- Touristy Val (Hollywood and others). I filed for Honorable Dismissal to honor God.
June- Homesick Val. Decided that I actually wanna be a Mommy :P Formally met Diana!!!! (?) Reunited with ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) frutti_de_mare Ch!!! :)
July - Mom got sick but the Lord healed her :) Student Visa was filed, as advised by the school and lawyers, simultaneously, my Mom filed for her own (with our) set of chuvannezz/
August - Waiting, hoping, struggling, yet still being joyful in the Lord. (And Vegas, LOL:P)
September- PARTAAAAY! Heehee. Birthday :) Viva Italia! Met IZZY delirium_86 for the first time in RL! HAHAHA.
And then, the Lord continues to reassure us that He wants us here. My mom's work thing gets approved (super kaduper blessing, right? ambilis!) God never backs down when you challenge Him eh! Pahiya ka lang.
October- California Inferno :O Mid-october, we got new sets of IDs. Job-hunting! :)
November- First Thanksgiving was so memorable :) Also, God reminded me about HOPE! End of the month, RadioShack hired me, by God's grace alone.
December- Struggles at work but blessings still abound! :D I learn new things everyday. I don't just buy stuff, I do stuff :P
♥ ♥ ♥
So for 2008, my prayer for all of us is that we continue to see how GREAT our God is! He is the BEST and nothing can ever compare to how much HE LOVES US! Even if we don't ask for it, He blesses us! It's amazing, because He doesn't have to but He does!!! He is sovereign and amidst all that we go through, He perseveres. He endures. HE IS LOVE.
Dec. 30th, 2007 @ 06:37 pm
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| » Tinamaan Ng Lintik! |
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So there was a bombing at Batasang Pambansa.8:30pm last night, and I saw it on a TFC morning show. Everyone knows about it already, prolly. Mga hinayupak kayo, kung sino man ang may pakana niyan. You're making life hard for people back home. Hah. As if this will make things better, nakakainis lang talaga, bakit kailangan mangyari yan. HAYNAKO. WORLD PEACE, GEEEZZZZ.
Nov. 13th, 2007 @ 05:13 pm
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| » HAPPY BIRTHDAY, MARA!!!! |
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Disclaimer: I hate seeing myself on video(that's why I've never seen my 18th birthday on DVD, that and other reasons). That being said, I hogged the camera, HAHAHA. Just kidding. I love Mara too much, that's why I made a video for her:) And! I wanna say that the last cut, it's ARTSY. Yes, yes, I didn't make a mistake in shooting it, and editing it XP Hehehe.
I love you, Mararara. And sorry for the belated birthday greeting! It's still Oct 29 here:)
Background music is c/o The Strokes, they're playing our song!
Oct. 29th, 2007 @ 06:24 pm
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